It seems that the notion of being charming has fallen into disfavor as of late. Too many people equate charm with being smarmy, disingenuous or manipulative, which is unfortunate. It can be argued that this quality of being pleasing or attractive through one’s personality is an important ingredient in an actor’s good fortune. It takes the three essentials of being a successful actor – talent, type and tenacity – and gives them that extra spark or power to attract people and situations that end up working to their benefit.
What is Charm?
Let’s start off with a working definition; Charm – A particular quality, or characteristic, of one’s personality or manner that people find engaging, delightful or fascinating. You’ve all met someone like this. A person you find appealing and who is comfortable with themselves. They have mastered two of the most important elements of charm – that of being a good listener and understanding the art of conversation. They show a genuine interest in you and how your day is going, what issues you’re dealing with and what they might do to offer assistance. All this, wrapped up in smile and a pleasant tone of voice while they look you straight in the eye.
The Fall From Grace
But it seems we have lost this ability, or no longer value it, as we rush to fulfill our desires. We’re so preoccupied with our own problems, needs and issues that we’ve forgotten how to really listen and talk to each other, much less how to be sympathetic or empathetic. Every interaction is designed to get us what we want, and if the person we’re conversing with is deemed unimportant than we quickly move on…you could call this the “Show Biz Party Mode” where the person your talking to is looking over your shoulder trying to find someone more important to talk to.
Another example of the absence of charm is the person who feels that the only way to interact with others is from a place of power. Rudeness, brusqueness and insensitivity are their only way of communicating or interacting with others. Is it any wonder then that the people they work with either do not willingly offer their assistance or happily allow that person to struggle and fail?
The Force Multiplier
Yet it is this very quality that can open so many doors for you and attract people and situations that have a positive effect on your career. What does the act of being charming mean? It means showing a genuine interest in other people's concerns and sympathy for their problems; saying what you mean and meaning what you say; sending thank-you notes; being tactful and courteous; making eye contact with people; smiling at the world; being on time.
To quote Henry Van Dyke, “There is no personal charm so great as the charm of a cheerful temperament.” All this enhances, magnifies and energizes your talent, type and tenacity to a higher level and makes you that special someone that people want to know and work with.
One Last Thing
Michael Levine, PR man extraordinaire, has written a great book on just this concept, titled Charming Your Way to The Top. It’s an enjoyable read and worth your time…it could also set you on the road to becoming one of the most charming people around.
If you’d to read another article related to this topic, go to: How to Market Yourself as an Actor - Advice on Building an Acting Career
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