A Christmas Story

Jean Shepherd's Xmas Classic Adapted for Stage by Philip Grecian

© Coral Andrews

Dec 5, 2007
Jean Shepherd, www.time.com
A Christmas Story has become a Must See Xmas Movie Classic like Dr Seuss' How The Grinch Stole Christmas, and Charles Dickens classic A Christmas Carol.

Editor's Choice

The Grinch is 50 and Ebenezer Scrooge is timeless. Who at this time of year isn’t putting together a Christmas List from the latest IPod Music Phone to a Diamond Pendant or a surprise Caribbean Cruise? We all want something and everyone who knows the story of little nine-year-old Ralphie Parker, knows what he wants!

A Christmas Story author Jean Shepherd was another grand storyteller in a vein of Prairie Home Companion’s Garrison Keillor – a modern day Mark Twain with a penchant for trouble.

In early Radio Days, “Shep” preferred to spin first person fictional yarns rather than vinyl. Shepherd was known for his on-air antics – inciting the kids to graffiti “Flick Lives” (A Christmas Story’s Flick was a real friend) on the washroom walls at schools, or in the subways. He would gleefully apologise for the fact that people chose to listen to his radio show on a fine summer’s eve. How pathetic for them.

The radio iconoclast detested commercials. Could that be why Shepherd lashes out at "rich chocolately" Ovaltine when, alas, young Ralphie, desperate to decode a secret message from the Little Orphan Annie radio show, fervently locks himself in the bathroom only to de-code "Be sure to drink your Ovaltine."

For faithful listeners in the '50s, '60s and '70s, “Shep” was the radio whether you listened to him on the wireless every Saturday night, put him on the window sill for the finest in transistor reception or under your pillow for safe keeping like a twisted tooth fairy.

This outspoken radio host also recorded albums, published books based on countless off the top of his head antidotes, and appeared with late night TV pioneers Steve Allen and Merv Griffin.Shepherd’s short satirical stories were published in Playboy and The Village Voice, Mad Magazine and National Lampoon.

In 2000, A Christmas Story debuted as a play adapted for the stage by Philip Grecian. Sadly, Jean Shepherd died in 1999, just days after the contracts were signed. Grecian’s adaptation is a little different from the movie because Ralph the adult narrator (Shepherd in the movie) moves around the aisles – his character unseen by the cast unless he becomes another character onstage like the Christmas Tree Salesman, Santa, or a Next Door Neighbour talking to The Old Man about his Notorious Fishnet Leg Lamp!

Narrator Ralph interacts with Young Ralph when Ralphie becomes overwhelmed with that incessant parrot cry about losing an orb if he dares fire the Red Ryder BB Gun ! Expect to find Randy, Mrs. Parker, The Old Man and one Ester Jane Alberry!

A Christmas Story is currently gracing stages nationwide. There are 95 shows in the States (nine shows in Texas alone!) and two productions in Canada one set for Theatre Windsor in Dec 2008 and one now onstage at Theatre and Company.

In a terrible twist of fate, A Christmas Story director Bob Clark (Porky’s, Black Christmas), then age 67, and his 22-year-old son Ariel were tragically killed by a drunk driver earlier this year.Clark’s film adaptation of Shepherd’s yuletide classic is his legacy, and it will live on in the young and the young-at-heart forever. Clark’s pal Jean Shepherd will always be remembered for A Christmas Story, because it speaks to the “Ralphie” in all of us.

Just for fun, here are Ten Memorable Quotes from A Christmas Story.

  • Ralphie: I want an official Red Ryder, carbine action, two-hundred shot range model air rifle!
  • Ralphie as Adult: [narrating] Only I didn't say "Fudge." I said the word, the big one, the queen-mother of dirty words, the "F-dash-dash-dash" word!
  • Ralphie as Adult: [narrating] In the heat of battle my father wove a tapestry of obscenities that as far as we know is still hanging in space over Lake Michigan.
  • Ralphie as Adult : [narrating] Over the years I got to be quite a connoisseur of soap. Though my personal preference was for Lux, I found that Palmolive had a nice, piquant after-dinner flavor - heavy, but with a touch of mellow smoothness. Life Buoy, on the other hand... Yecchh!
  • Ralphie as Adult : [narrating] Now it was serious. A double-dog-dare. What else was there but a "triple dare ya"? And then, the coup de grace of all dares, the sinister triple-dog-dare.
  • Randy: Daddy's gonna kill Ralphie!
  • The Old Man: Naddafinga!
  • Miss Shields: [reading Ralphie's theme in his fantasy, she clutches his essay to her chest] Oh! The theme I've been waiting for all my life. Listen to this sentence: "A Red Ryder BB gun with a compass in the stock, and this thing which tells time". Poetry. Sheer poetry, Ralph! An A+!
  • Mother, Miss Shields: [Chanting] You'll shoot your eye out! You'll shoot your eye out!
  • Flick : Are you kidding? Stick my tongue to that stupid pole? That's dumb!

Coming soon in Playwrights and Stage Actors - More Christmas Carols!


The copyright of the article A Christmas Story in Playwrights & Stage Actors is owned by Coral Andrews. Permission to republish A Christmas Story in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.


Jean Shepherd, www.time.com
Peter Billingsley as Ralph Parker , www.movieposters.com
The Fishnet Lamp , www.buyitnow.com
Philip Grecian , www.inhisstepstopeka.com
 


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